The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
Weight Bench Sits Neglected For Ninth Straight Week
Originally posted 7/25/2005

Above: Phil Laroche's weight bench sits neglected next to the guitar he bought in 2002 and swore he'd teach himself to play
NEW ORLEANS - Sources close to Phil Laroche, 28, of New Orleans reported Sunday that the recently single graphic designer's weight bench sat neglected in his apartment for the ninth straight week. "I haven't seen Phil touch that thing since before Memorial Day, at least," said Laroche's roommate and college friend Wes Singer said this weekend.

Laroche reportedly bought the weight bench and convinced Singer to let him keep it in the living room of their apartment after a particularly rowdy St. Patrick's Day, after which Laroche decided he needed to get in shape.

"I woke up the next day just feeling like crap," Laroche said, "and I couldn't find a pair of jeans that fit. I thought, 'man, I really have to stop drinking so much beer and join a gym, maybe go and get some weights or something.'"

Laroche added that he's been working out on his weight bench "sort of off and on" since then.

"Man, he hasn't touched that thing in ages," Singer said. "He used to walk by it once every couple of days or so and say, 'dude, I got to start lifting again,' but he hasn't even said that in like three weeks."

Laroche said that he definitely plans to start working out regularly soon, so he can be in awesome shape for his 10-year high school reunion in the fall. "I heard Amy Reece got a little bit fatter after her divorce," said Laroche, "so maybe if I show up looking ripped I'll have a shot."

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