The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
Rec League Softball Team Apparently Willing To Win That Way
Originally posted 5/30/2005

Above: Mutual Life's Sam Diefenbach pokes a cheap hit into an unmanned right field
KISSIMMEE, FL - Reports coming from the Kissimmee, Florida Over-35 city rec softball league indicated this week that the Mutual Life Insurance squad is "apparently willing to win that way." According to Mutual Life opponent Dwight Riley of Tyler Mortgage, his team had only eight players Thursday, forcing them to play without a right fielder. "[Mutual Life] kept poking hits into right field on purpose," Riley said. "Hey, if they think they can live with themselves, that's fine."

"I'm sorry," said Mutual Life first baseman Sam Diefenbach. "I thought the object of softball was to score runs by getting hits and moving your teammates around the bases. I didn't realize that had been changed since our last game. Sorry about that."

"It's not like this is the Major Leagues," Riley said. "We're all out here to have some fun and get some exercise, that's the point."

"Look, if they can't get enough people together for an entire team," said Mutual Life outfielder Dave Driggs, "that's not our fault. You can play with eight if you have to, that's why the league rules say eight is the minimum. Does Dwight Riley honestly think he knows better than the people who wrote the Over-35 city rec league bylaws?"

Riley added that he's not saying that he's going to protest the game or anything, but went on to mention that Kissimmee mayor George Gant lives three houses down from him, and he just wanted to make sure that he Mutual Life team knew that.

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