The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
Uncle Regrets Boasting About How Good He Is At Volleyball
Originally posted 5/23/2005

Above: Uncle Rey Lugo lunges for the ball. Split seconds later, he would hit a relatively embarassing shot into the bottom of the net
ST. LOUIS - Uncle Rey Lugo, 32, of Houston, TX, who came to visit this weekend for a family reunion in St. Louis, came to regret boasting on Sunday about how good he is at volleyball, sources close to the Lugo family reported. "All the boys decided to go play volleyball," said Emily Lugo, 46, who organized the reunion. "Rey started talking about how he used to be great in gym class when he was younger. Then after he played so bad, he felt pretty stupid."

"I thought I'd be okay, at least," Rey Lugo said following his disappointing performance at St. Louis's Meriwether Lewis Park. "I haven't played volleyball in like ten years, but I wasn't that bad back then. I thought it would be fun to start trash talking before we started playing, because how good could any of these other guys be?"

"It was pretty sad," said Lugo's nephew Efraim Santiago, 17. "He was so bad that eventually we stopped hitting it towards him, just because he was getting so frustrated. That just made us laugh harder, based on how he was talking before."

"I couldn't believe it," said Lugo's sister Julie Santiago. "We were all watching, and, in the space of about ten minutes, it went from funny, to sad, to 'Oh, God, won't somebody please help that poor man?'"

Lugo reportedly responded to repeated insults about his volleyball skills by challenging anyone at the Lugo family reunion to a game of badminton. "Then we'll see who's laughing," an angry Lugo said. "I kick ass at badminton."

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