The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
 
Basketball Fan Peed Right Next To at Wide-Open Bank of Urinals
Originally posted 4/5/2005

According to Bucks fan Don Meeker, he was minding his business at Urinal A when Wayne Corning ignored all the other wide-open options and pulled right up to Urinal B
MILWAUKEE - Basketball fan Don Meeker, 34, of Racine, Wisconsin reported last week that midway through the third quarter of Wednesday's Milwaukee Bucks-Golden State Warriors contest, as Meeker was using a urinal in an almost empty Bradley Center men's restroom, he was peed right next to by a fellow basketball fan. "I couldn't believe it," Meeker said. "A whole wall of urinals, and this guy pulls right up next to me."

When reached for comment, the offending basketball fan -- identified as Wayne Corning, 40, of Kenosha -- admitted to using the urinal right next to Meeker "because it was the closest one when I walked in." Corning offered no satisfactory explanation as to why he failed to leave the traditional "buffer urinal" between himself and Meeker.

"Don't get me wrong," Meeker said, "I don't have any sort of weird problem or anything. I don't have shy kidneys; nothing like that. It's just, if you've got an entire bank of urinals to choose from, then, come on, dude. At least he had the decency not to start talking to me in the middle of it."

"We feel terribly about what happened to Mr. Meeker," said Bucks customer service coordinator Brad Hamacher, "and we will take steps to make sure that neither he nor any of our other fans are peed right next to, unless it's right after the game and all the bathrooms are super crowded, in which case you've either just got to suck it up and pee elbow-to-elbow with other dudes or wait until you get home."

Meeker said that Wednesday's incident was the most uncomfortable he had been since he flew from Chicago to Dallas on business last year and the guy sitting next to him went the entire trip without ever scooting over into the open aisle seat to his immediate left.

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