The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
Basketball Fan's Girlfriend Loudly Clears Throat Every Time an NCAA Player's Wife is Shown in Stands
Originally posted 3/21/2005

Natalie Bobik (left), wife (ahem, ahem) of Oklahoma State player Daniel Bobik, seen here with her sister Kristi Monks
HOT SPRINGS, AR - Basketball fan and avid NCAA tournament television viewer Chad Healy, 27, reported this weekend that his girlfriend, Alison DuPont, cleared her throat conspicuously and made "a big thing out of it" whenever a basketball player's wife was mentioned by announcers or shown on camera. Healy said that the couple, who moved in together five months ago and have been dating for over a year, have no plans to get engaged.

"It's bad enough that they keep showing coaches' wives in the stands every three seconds," Healy said. "Whenever they show a player's wife, she makes sure I know about it. I've just been pretending not to notice, but, I'm sure she doesn't buy it."

"I've been trying to drop hints for a while," DuPont said, "but he hasn't been getting it. I'll talk about my friend who's getting married in June, and I'll be like, 'wouldn't that be fun, planning a wedding, getting all your friends and family together for such a special occasion,' and he's like, 'I guess; whatever.' But these basketball players have got to be younger than we are, and I'm just trying to make it clear to him that yes, it is within the realm of possibility to get married before you're 35."

"During the UAB-Arizona game, I think it was," Healy told friends Sunday afternoon, "the announcer said something about one of the players being engaged to a softball player on the team, and she was all like, 'engaged, huh? Wow.'

"The worst was when Oklahoma State was playing, and they showed some hot chicks in the stands, and I pointed them out, and it turned out that one of them was a player's wife. 'Oh, see, you can still be hot when you're a wife, wives are hot too'... I'll be hearing about that for a while. Thank God BYU didn't make the tournament this year; I'm not sure I could have survived that."

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