The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
 
Oakland Woman Not Sure If She's Dating Mulder, Hudson or Zito
Originally posted 5/5/2003

Mulder (left or right or center) with Zito (center, right or left) and Hudson (center, left or right)
OAKLAND, CA - Oakland-area customer service representative Rita Spencer told friends this week that she's dating young Oakland Athletics pitching ace Mark Mulder, Tim Hudson or Barry Zito. "I'm just not sure which one," Spencer said.

"I was out at this bar a couple weeks ago," she continued, "and my friend Grace said, 'See that cute guy over there? He's one of those pitchers for the A's.' I sort of knew their names, but I didn't know which one he was. He was kind of cute, though."

Sources at the scene reported that Mulder, Hudson or Zito approached Spencer and asked to buy her a drink. She then asked him if he was "one of those Mulder, Hudson and Zito guys who plays for the A's." Mulder, Hudson or Zito then replied that he was one of those guys.

"I think I know who you're talking about," Barry Zito said when reached for comment. "She's that really hot redhead. I've seen her with Zito a couple of times. Or, wait, I'm Zito. Shoot, which one am I now? I'll have to see if I've got a Cy Young award at home, because I know Zito's the only one of us who's won it."

"I guess I'll have to do a little research on those guys," Spencer said. "I'd feel stupid asking him his name now, since we've been out four times. There must be a way to tell them apart. Maybe I can drop some hints, like 'so, do you feel bad that the other two guys have made the All-Star team and you haven't?' or 'how did you like pitching for USC?' Something like that."

"I'm pretty sure one of us was out with a hot redhead, if that's the same chick," Mark Mulder said. "It was either Mulder or me, though, I don't think it was Hudson. Unless I'm Mulder. Which one's the tall one?"

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