The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
 
LSU's National Championship Trophy Taken Away, Given To USC
Originally posted 1/10/2005

USC quarterback Matt Leinart (center) and coach Pete Carroll (right) celebrate with their trophies as former LSU coach Nick Saban (left) looks on
MIAMI - The USC Trojans, winners of the last two college football national championships and the most feared college football team of the century, defeated the Oklahoma Sooners 55-19 in the Orange Bowl Tuesday, after which the BCS committee ordered Louisiana State to turn over the trophy they were awarded following last year's Sugar Bowl.

"Everyone knows USC was the real champion, and this year just proved it," said BCS commissioner Kevin Weiberg said. "We couldn't let LSU hang onto that trophy they 'earned' last year, or we'd look like idiots. Well, bigger idiots."

USC finished No. 1 in both polls at the end of last season yet was denied a chance to play in the so-called "national title" game, an oversight so egregious that the BCS system was immediately overhauled to prevent another such tragedy. Instead, LSU defeated Oklahoma to "win" the "national championship."

"It's painfully obvious who the best team is this year, just as it's painfully obvious who the best team was last year," said former LSU coach Nick Saban, who, as new coach of the Miami Dolphins, was in town and able to stop by after the Orange Bowl to award the trophy to its rightful recipients following the game. "In truth, it's a relief to be able to get rid of this trophy; every time I looked at it over the past year I just started blubbering like a little baby girl, I was so guilty about keeping it when it clearly didn't belong to me."

"It sure was nice of the BCS to make sure we got that trophy," said USC coach Pete Carroll, whose pinky fingernail could undoubtedly out-coach an entire army of Nick Saban clones.

"See? See? The system worked this year," Weiberg said. "Worked real good. What's that? Auburn? Utah? I don't know what you're talking about. Never heard of them. This interview is over."

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