The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
Latest "NHL 2005" Video Game Really Boring
Originally posted 12/6/2004

An NHL executive makes a phone call in EA Sports' not-so-exciting "NHL 2005"
REDWOOD CITY, CA - The latest edition of EA Sports' popular NHL video game series has been met with lackluster sales, sources within the company reported. Many blamed the lack of any actual hockey action in the game. "They told us to make it as realistic as we could," said an EA Sports game programmer speaking on condition of anonymity. "So, since the NHL isn't playing, we took out all the hockey."

Instead, "NHL 2005" gamers may choose from several options to pass the time during the NHL lockout; options include going to the gym, going out and getting a beer, hanging out with the wife and kids, and sitting at home playing video games.

Players may also choose to take on the character of the league executive, attempting to negotiate a settlement to the months-long lockout and get NHL players back on the ice.

"I though that executive option might be fun at first," said Clay Metcalf, 15, who purchased the game two months ago. "But it's really lame. The part where you have to navigate Manhattan traffic to get to the NHL offices is sort of cool, but, then you get there, and, the whole thing is just asking [NHL players union executive director] Bob Goodenow if the players will accept a salary cap, and him saying 'no.' That gets really boring after about fifteen minutes."

EA Sports released a statement from their Redwood City, California headquarters promising that, should the NHL lockout be resolved in time, "NHL 2006" will be much, much more exciting.

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