The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
Husband Heroically Resists Urge to Critique Wife's Golf Swing
Originally posted 11/29/2004

Roy Bettin, left, with wife June (whose golf swing went remarkably unremarked upon)
LAS CRUCES, NM - Stunning news came from the golf world this week as vacationer Roy Bettin, 61, heroically resisted the temptation to criticize his wife June's golf swing during their round at Las Cruces' Sonoma Ranch Golf Course. "She told me this time," Roy Bettin said, "'If you say anything about the way I golf, you're gonna get it.' This time I could tell she meant it, so I'd better keep quiet. Which isn't easy, if you ever see her play."

Bettin said that this week's outing marked the first time in 12 years that June was willing to golf with him. "She's not a fan of golf, and I wouldn't be either if I had a swing like hers," he said. Roy said that June agreed to a golf outing on the couple's annual vacation through New Mexico and Arizona only after he promised not to criticize any aspect of her golf technique.

"I don't mind playing a round now and then," June Bettin said, "but it's just not worth it to play with Roy. 'Keep your head steady, shift your weight, your backswing isn't smooth enough,' my God. I just want to play golf once or twice every year. If I wanted to be good at golf, I'd play golf a lot."

"I golfed once with Mom and Dad," said the couple's son Charles, 35, of Chicago. "Wasn't pretty. They fought the whole time. But Dad's tips always helped me out. I'd practice for hours and hours, until I got blisters on my hands, because I knew if I did one little thing that wasn't perfect I'd get an earful from him. So, it was -- excuse me for a second. Hey, Tyler! Get over here, son! You call that a drawing of a squirrel? That looks like crap!"

"I kept my golf tips to myself this time," Roy Bettin said. "She made it pretty clear that I keep my trap shut, as she put it. And I figured, 'hey, if she wants to stay crappy at golf, it's no skin off my nose.' Wasn't east having to watch her hack at that ball and not say anything, though. Broads, huh?"

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