The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
White Sox Still Better Than Twins, White Sox Feel
Originally posted 9/27/2004

CHICAGO - Several members of the Chicago White Sox organization this week expressed the belief that, although they are on their way to their third consecutive second place finish in the American League Central, they are still clearly a better team than the three-time defending division champion Minnesota Twins. "The Twins are just a lucky fluke team," said White Sox first baseman Paul Konerko. "Three years in a row."

At press time the White Sox were 10.5 games behind the Twins and mired in the middle of the American League standings. "We're so much better than the Twins. The only reason they won this year was because of all the injuries we've had," said Chicago's Frank Thomas. "And last year, too. And in 2002."

When asked if he realized that the Twins have played most of the year with a lifetime .215 hitter behind the plate because of injuries to highly-touted rookie catcher Joe Mauer, Thomas started to cry like a little girl.

The White Sox, who have not won a playoff series since 1917, expressed absolute certainty that they will win the American League Central next year with a minimum of difficulty. "The Twins won't be a problem next year," said White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle. "After all, if the Twins were any good, why would everybody keep picking us to win the division at the beginning of every season? We're obviously better; it's not fair that people expect us to actually prove it on the field."

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