The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
GOP Protesters Get On Wrong Train, End Up at Shea, Beat Mets 5-2
Originally posted 9/6/2004

Protester Dolores Hart, 49, of Dallas slides past Mets catcher Vance Wilson
NEW YORK - A transportation mishap led to an unusual set of circumstances in New York last week as nine radical left-wing protesters, boarding what they thought was a train to midtown Manhattan, ended up at Shea Stadium, home of the New York Mets. When the plane carrying the visiting Florida Marlins was delayed due to hurricane Frances, the protesters filled in, defeating the Mets by the score of 5-2.

"We figured, hey, we're here," said Jennifer Davies, 19, of Dallas, who came to New York with her mother, Dolores Hart, intending to protest the Republican Convention held in the city last week. "I played softball in junior high, and a couple of the other guys we came with played some junior college ball. It was fun, and, I think we were able to get our message across."

"We just can't seem to get anything going these days," said Mets manager Art Howe, whose Mets have lost nine straight games as of Monday. "Those protesters played great, though, so I've got to give them credit. That kid in the latex Dick Cheney mask with the construction paper devil horns taped on top of it had a hell of a slider."

"That was amazing!" said protester and center fielder Jonathan Merriman, 21, of Lima, Ohio, who hit a three-run home run off of Mets starter Steve Trachsel. "Next to calling the world's attention to the evil, corrupt regime of an unelected, tyrannical ignoramus who dances on the graves of innocent children while counting his billion-dollar oil fortune, this was the most fun ever!"

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