The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
Clean-Cut Young White Male Miraculously Wins ESPN's "Dream Job"
Originally posted 3/29/2004

"Dream Job" winner Mike Hall. See? Nothing to worry about.
NEW YORK - Clean-cut young white male Mike Hall defied all odds this weekend to become the winner of ESPN's reality television series "Dream Job." The prize: a one-year contract as an anchor for "SportsCenter," the network's popular sports highlight show. Hall outlasted thousands of applicants and twelve other finalists, including two old guys, three black guys, a Jew, an Asian, two women and a long-haired hippie.

"We're excited to have Mike on board the 'SportsCenter' team," said ESPN executive vice president and "Dream Job" panelist Al Jaffe, the man who is responsible for hiring on-air talent for the network. "As for the other contestants who made it all the way to the end, well, we're extremely relieved... did I say relieved? I meant proud. We're extremely proud that they got almost all the way to the point where we'd be putting them on TV a few times a week, but not quite."

"This is a dream come true," Hall said. "This just goes to show that anyone, even a young Caucasian man with an unaccented, Midwestern speaking voice, can make it. I promise I'll do my best to live up to the challenge."

Hall defeated runner up Aaron Levine in a nationwide internet vote to claim the grand prize after Zachariah Selwyn and Maggie Haskins were cut by the judges halfway through the show's two hour finale.

"I'm thrilled to have made it as far as I did," said Haskins, one of two women to make the final twelve and the only one to survive even halfway through the series. "I would have loved to have gotten the job, but, there was only room for one winner, and I guess I wasn't quite what they were looking for. Someday I'd love to be on 'SportsCenter,' though, even if I have to, like, wait until Linda Cohn dies."

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