The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
Coworker Actually Brags About Being Good at Tetherball
Originally posted 1/12/2004

Kids playing tetherball, apparently not half as well as Troy Westburg used to
SARASOTA, FL - Coworkers of car salesman Troy Westburg were put off Tuesday when, for no particular reason, Westburg spent the day boasting about his skills at tetherball, a somewhat popular elementary school playground game. "I don't know how it got started," said Joyce Kelley, a receptionist at Toyota of Sarasota, where Westerburg works, "but I heard him telling Ted that he would bet any amount of money that he could beat him at tetherball."

"I don't mean to brag," Westburg inexplicably told confused fellow employees in the break room while microwaving his leftover spaghetti, "but I guarantee you that if we had a company tetherball tournament, I could take everybody here. If I lost five points in the whole thing, I'd be really surprised."

"Troy's always been sort of a jerk," fellow car salesman David Aldari said, "so I wasn't surprised that he was getting on everybody's nerves. But this wasn't jerky, it was just strange. Did he think we'd be impressed by his supposed tetherball ability? Did he think that we'd become enraged by his boasting and challenge him to a tetherball match, which he would then win? I really don't get it."

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