The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
Annual Backyard Snow Football Game Rendered Awkward By New Step-Cousin
Originally posted 12/2/2003

Taylor Paradee, trying so hard to fit in
RUTLAND, VT - The annual Thanksgiving Day backyard snow football game featuring members of the Hassett family was rendered awkward this year by the presence of new step-cousin Taylor Paradee, sources close to the family reported this weekend.

The game, which takes place at the field next to the old high school about two to three hours before the family's Thanksgiving dinner, typically includes the six sons of Duane and Kevin Hassett. This year, however, Paradee, the stepson of newly married Rita Hassett-Paradee joined the game, changing the dynamic completely.

"We didn't really know the guy," said Duane's son Seth, 14, "but aunt Rita wanted us to be nice to him because he's [Hassett-Paradee's new husband] Luke's son and all. It kind of sucked, though. Usually we play three-on-three, and it kind of screwed things up."

"He's kind of a spaz," said Kevin's oldest son Jake. "We'd seen him at Rita and Luke's wedding, but that was about it. We tried to include him the best we could, but, it just wasn't as fun as it usually is. He really can't catch, and he accidentally hit [Duane's youngest son] Matthew in the face when he was trying to tackle him. Hopefully next year they'll go to Luke's parents' place in Pittsburgh."

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