The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
49er Teammates Carefully Avoid the Word "Fabulous" In Describing Jeff Garcia's Performance
Originally posted 9/8/2003

Garcia looks for a tight end [Editor's note: any humorous football article dealing with gay themes must include a "tight end" joke. Sorry. FCC rules]
SAN FRANCISCO - Following the 49ers 42-9 Week One victory over the Chicago Bears, teammates of San Francisco's Jeff Garcia carefully tiptoed around the word "fabulous" in describing the quarterback's performance. Garcia -- who is young, wealthy, impeccably groomed, lives alone in San Francisco and has no girlfriend -- passed for 231 yards and two touchdowns while rushing for 40 yards and one touchdown in the 49ers' 49-7 win.

"Jeff was awesome," said 49ers cornerback Ahmed Plummer, who returned an interception for a touchdown in the game. "You've got a quarterback like him, you know you've got a chance to win every game. He was just fabu -- great. He was great."

New 49ers head coach Dennis Erickson lauded Garcia as well after the game. "Coming here to San Francisco, I was excited to work with such a fab -- ... talented quarterback. Yeah. Talented."

"We just got beat in every way today," said Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher. "They were all over us. We definitely weren't fabulous. Not like them. Especially Garcia. He might be the most fabulous player in the league right now."

"I thought I played pretty well today," Garcia said. "I don't know if I'd say I was fabulous. Besides, whether or not a person is fabulous is really just his own business."

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