The Athletic Reporter
September 12, 2005 Sports News the Way You Want It. Completely Made Up. Issue 127
Vick Breaks Fibula, Dan Reeves Fantasy Team Looking Up
Originally posted 8/25/2003

Michael Vick after executing "X-tiger-Y-giant-78-rollout-QB-leg-break"
by Sean Hecht, Athletic Reporter staff writer

ATLANTA - A source in the Falcon organization alleges conspiracy in the recent injury of star QB Mike Vick, stating that Vick's right fibula was broken on a play called "X-tiger- Y-giant- 78-rollout- QB-leg-break." The play, an offseason addition to the playbook according to the source, was designed entirely by Falcon head coach Dan Reeves. It is believed that Reeves devised the play to boost the chances of his fantasy football team in the upcoming season.

"We had run [the play] a few times over the last week in practice, but never successfully", said Falcons left guard Travis Claridge. "We just hadn't been able to execute it like [Coach Reeves] wanted us to." Claridge owns Vick in the Falcons Fantasy Football League, which allows each team to carry over two late-round picks from the previous year's roster. He had selected Vick in the eighth round in an effort to secure a solid backup for Kordell Stewart. "Yeah, I felt real good about my chances in the league this year too," continued Claridge "this really sucks."

Vick, who had been working tirelessly in the offseason in an effort to improve his play from the pocket, stated "I've just gotta go out and try to run the offense like I know I can. You aren't always gonna like every play call the coach makes, but it's my job to go out and run the play to the best of my ability."

At a press conference, Reeves said "Hey, injuries are a part of the game. Nobody knows when something like this might happen. They're completely accidental, really, I didn't have anything to do with it and you can't prove I did. Ha ha ha ha ha!" Reeves then pointed to a spot behind the assembled reporters, said "hey what's that?" and ran out a side door. Reeves' fantasy team "The Unblockable Arteries" was ranked near the bottom of the Falcons league in a preseason poll. Insiders say that his squad was never able to overcome Reeves' third round selection of John Elway, which the coach justified at the time by telling anyone within earshot that Elway was "the best available quarterback on my board." In a related story, Falcons wideout Peerless Price has refused to participate in a play called "play-action-Z-domino-Peerless-gets-creamed."

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